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1. You know to ignore the low paper warning as it starts appearing about 3 days early.

2. You want to hit the people who, when you ask if they have a Clubcard say "No, but I've got this," and then hand you their key-fob.

3. You buzz for someone on headset as soon as you see a gold pineapple on the belt, simply because not one has a barcode.

4. You never expect to find a £5 note in your till.

5. You don't expect to find any pens when you get to a till either.

6. You know a LOT of PLU numbers and barcodes for stuff.

7. You wonder why the till asks you if you have double scanned something in error when the only items people seem to buy in 2's is bacon, mince meat and batteries.

8. You would like to meet the knob from Pringle who has put that other barcode at the bottom of Pringles pots.

9. You don't know why you bother swiping the old-style clubcard.

10. You hate asking people so many questions.

11. You want to slap people who expect every item they find on a reduced shelf to be reduced even if it doesn't have a yellow sticker on it.

12. You always end up writing a shopping list of things you're going to get on your break or for when you finish, based on what the customers you serve buy.

13. Even when people give you their clubcard at the beginning, you still ask for it at the end...But sometimes stop yourself mid-sentence "Have you got a...oh yeah its alright Ive already done it" leaving the customer bewildered.

14. Or you sometimes find yourself saying "There's your card and your receipt..." when just handing back someones clubcard, out of sheer habit...

15. You wonder why people don't seem to notice that they've put the wrong PIN in?! You heard that 'incorrect beep' so why didn't they?

16. You have to help customers open the carrier bags because they can't manage themselves.

17. The most interesting parts of your day are when a glass jar of something drops off the belt, and when you get taken off for your break.

18. You've already thought up an excuse why you can't do overtime before someone comes round with the sheet.

19. When someone comes round with the Team 5 sheet that you've already read, you read it again just to get off a till for a few minutes.

20. You remember a time before having to get a supervisor to void things.

21. If there are lots of the same items on the belt, you alternate the items you scan so you don't have to wait for the delay on the scanner, and because you're too lazy to put in the quantity.

22. You wonder why it is customers ask you for permission to go and get items they've forgotten...

23. Customers will always ask you if you are open when you quite blatantly are, and will always ask you if you are closing even when the barrier is closed, they've just watched you do a pod, and you're leaving the till!! :@

24. You don't ask some customers for clubcard because they don't look like the 'type' to have one (usually 30 something men who look builder-ish, or they have only spent something silly like £1.24 so you don't justify asking) then they turn round to you and say "You didn't ask me for my clubcard", to which you reply, with an anguished look on your face, sorry! You'll have to go customer services to get the points put on... Just goes to show you can't second guess who has a clubcard and who doesn't :-|

25. You act as NORMALLY as possible whenever somebody buys either: a pregnancy test, or condoms. Or if two middle aged men come to your till with a big shop, and they're obviously not just mates. You scan solidly, without making eye contact and or conversation

26. When doing a Pod and having a massive stack of notes in your hand, you've considered on more than one occasion making a quick dash for the exit.

27. You've been to work still pissed on a Sunday or severely hungover! *belch*

28. You get annoyed by the customers who usually have a few items yet seem to insist on waiting until you've scanned it all and put the cash through the till before they pack it, and even then at a ridiculously slow rate. When the next person comes you start to scan their shopping and slowly edge it towards the previous customer who is still busy trying to open the sodding bag. In some instances you've scanned 2 or 3 more customers shopping whilst they're still f***ing about...

29. You think wtf?! about those customers who buy, yes BUY clothes hangers when you have a load under your till...

30. Equally bad or even worse maybe are the ones who pay £1 for a Jute Shopper...

31. Scanning those clubcard vouchers the following phrase comes to mind..."oh excuse me...yeah the bags for life...yeh they're just *points behind belt* yeh just behind there*

32. There's always one till in every store that opens too aggressively!

33. You think Tesco should remove the amount saved from the display that the customer can see, as they always end up smirking at it, "Look at that, I've saved 12p"

34. If you're over 18 you hate having to turn round every 5 mins to authorise alcohol sales when someone behind you is under 18. If you're under 18 you hate having to ask (or you don't), and when you get authorisation you then get that puzzled look of the customer and then you tediously have to explain drinking laws to them.

35. You have your 'regulars'.

36. You don't go off the time on the tills because everybody knows they're a few minutes behind the clocking in time!

37. You have at one point scanned virtually everything off that new(ish) bakery list by accident. (Only applies to tills where the scales are in front and have a scanner underneath)

38. You have one £5 note in your till. A customer pisses you off for whatever reason and when they pay for their stuff they need at least £5 change. But you give them either £2 pound coins or pound coins in their change instead of that solo £5 note...Just to show them whos boss lol.

39. You remember when Onions used to be Cash, tomatoes were cheques and carrots were vouchers...

40. You play around with anything you can find on your till whilst waiting for a customer, including (but not limited to) the hand scanner, the belt+dividers, the green and red lights above the till, till roll, PLU lists, scanning anything that has a barcode on like the school vouchers, the printer, lowering and raising your seat, spinning round on your seat and the buttons for the belt.

41. You've still not managed to find a way to tell the customer that by "Alternative tender required", what it really means is you've not got enough money in your account.

42. You think Tesco should re-design the home-branded sunflower oil to exclude that drip of oil thats on every bottleIts not fooling anyone! (See pictures)

43. You work out that One-in-Front is useless, not least because Tesco cannot reliably measure it - everybody knows those white infa-red boxes can't be doing that good a job, and having team leaders sign on empty tills doesn't help - but more because the customers aren't bothered if they have to wait a bit longer at busy times.

44. The thing that annoys you the most is customers that think they are funny and expect you to laugh at their "jokes"...Such as "You looked bored so I thought I'd give you something to do" and "No thanks, I've brought my packer/helper with me."

Source: Hot UK Deals

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44 is so true, I got so annoyed at customers who made bad jokes (which I heard for like the 1000th time).

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Full On Design

Heh, I always took a very OTT approach to customers ****ty jokes. I always wanted to say:
"Price check: XXXS Condoms and Marmite", just to see their face :P

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Full On Design

yeah some of them don't apply to my ex-job, but for sure i can sympathize.

yeah .. for me they tended to be slightly crazy/perverted

when we had regulars they were definitely different...we had a codeword for them when we saw them walk in (swordfish) and we'd all dash to find something we HAD to do so we couldn't ring them up. last one had to do it.
we had a girl try to return a pair of pants she had...gone to the bathroom in.
it was sick.

Lol, someone brought back a pair of boots that "hadn't been worn" because they were the wrong size and they wanted their money back. At least now, because the shop is closing the end of the month, we refuse any refunds or exchanges, hehe xx

lol .. that really confused me =/

lol no it only lasts a MONTH. its a line of credit...like a credit card but you can only use so much and it doesn't come back if you pay it off. and these stupid people come up and get their dads to pay for stuff they shouldn't have to pay for cuz they think they're being clever, but they're really just taking advantage of their parents. so it ends after a while since its only supposed to be for text books...but there are a bunch of idiots who think it lasts all the time so they come with a bunch of stuff to buy and they can't.
better?

not for me really but i'm a simple girl who has to buy her own textbooks

not if you work at the campus bookstore!! lol. anyways thats how it was here. before i quit.
and they're pretty expensive. but i actually just buy mine online for way cheap and then you can sell them back to the bookstore sometimes and make a profit. its pretty sweet.