There are 4 people on a plane the pilot, the bainiest man in the world, a boy and his grandad. the plane is about to crash but there are only three parachutes left so the pilot takes one and says i have a wife and kids so i need to save my backside. then the brainiest man in the wold takes one and says without me there would be no brains so i should take this one and save my back so he did. then the grandpa says to is grnadson take the last parachute boy i'm old and so you should save your neck then the boy says but granpa there are 2 parachutes left the brainiest man in the world took my back pack!

http://www.logan-net.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=176&whichpage=1

wot do u get when u cross a ****su with a bulldog?
bull****!

How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.

How about this:
there are 3 men an irish man a scottish man and an english man the irish man walks into a shop and asks the shop keeper for a condom the shop keeper gives him a wooden condom and he walks out then the scots man alks in and buys a condom he buys a plastic condom and walks out then the english man walks n and buys an electric condom. the next day they all come back the irish man says i want a refund cause everytime i have sex with my girl she gets splinters in her. then the scots man says this one was fine and then the english man says THIS CONDOM IS THE BEST EVERYTIME I HAVE SEX WITH MY GIRL HER BOOBS LIGHT UP ITS WORTH THE PAIN CAUSE ITS GREAT FOR ME I'M NOT SURE ABOUT HER THOUGH I'LL HAVE A BOX OF EM!

superman was on top of the building and looked across to see a fit, naked, almost cumbing chick, so superman says "wait im superman, i can fly down there shag her and go before shes even finished blinking" so he flys down there and shags her and then flys away, the chick says "what was that!", and the invisible man says "i dont know but my ass-hole is killing me!"

What's the difference between a giraffe and a tractor?


answer: One has Hydraulics and one has high b*llocks!


whats the difference between a market trader and a Dash hound?


one balls his wears on in the street, one wears his b*lls off on the street

WE WISH YOU A MERRY CRIMBO
WE WISH YOU A MERRY CRIMBO
WE WISH YOU A MERRY CRIMBO
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
THANKYOU PLEASE
GLAD TIDINGS WE BRING TO YOU FROM CRAAIIG DAAAVIIID
WE WISH YOU A MERRY CRIMBO
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
THANKYOU PLEASE
BO SELECTA!

3 women escape

3 women escaped from prison, a blonde, brunette, and a red head. They sneak into a hayloft for the night. The brunette finds three gunny sacks and the girls put them over themselves.

The sheriff comes to the hayloft and tells the deputy to go check it out. He finds the three gunny sacks on the floor and wants to know what is in them.

He kicks the first one, the brunette and she quickly says, "bow wow".

So the deputy says it's just a dog and proceeds to the next one. The red head was kicked and she quickly said, "meow!" so he thinks it's only a cat.

He proceeds to the blonde and he kicks her. Nothing happened. So he kicks her again, and he hears the blonde yell "POTATOES!!!!"

there are three men, there names are called doe, ray, me.as you no they are gay and they all go into the toilets and have a shag. doe goes out,ray goes out,and whose left me(meaning you)