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Rank: L4: post-aholic
Joined: 12/30/2003
Posts: 1,208
Location: United Kingdom
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*sniffs the air* ah
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.
Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"
The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven''t heard any complaints."
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Rank: L4: post-aholic
Joined: 12/30/2003
Posts: 1,208
Location: United Kingdom
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Aliens Attack
President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.
"Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news."
"Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."
"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."
"Gosh, and the good news?"
"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
nooooo, not on top of me, not on top of me
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Rank: L4: post-aholic
Joined: 12/30/2003
Posts: 1,208
Location: United Kingdom
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Q: What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
A: Cash and carry!
i normally go to a supermarket for cash and carry...like grocerries and stuff
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Rank: L4: post-aholic
Joined: 12/30/2003
Posts: 1,208
Location: United Kingdom
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Secret Messages
After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I. No one could solve it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. MI-6 cabled the White House:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
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Rank: L4: post-aholic
Joined: 12/30/2003
Posts: 1,208
Location: United Kingdom
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there that should do it...
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Rank: L3: Swoj-fan
Joined: 8/15/2003
Posts: 782
Location: United Kingdom
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Why did the first squirell fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead
Why did the second squirell fall out?
Because it was tied to the first
Why did the third squirell fall out?
It was imitating the first two
Why did the fourth squirell fall out?
Peer pressure
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Rank: L3: Swoj-fan
Joined: 8/15/2003
Posts: 782
Location: United Kingdom
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'Customer support is like cheqing broken glass only 100 times less fun'
'Man with hole in pocket feel cock(y) all day'
'Man who fill tart with cream not neccesarily baker'
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Rank: Really is a pirate
Joined: 7/15/2003
Posts: 2,729
Location: United Kingdom
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Hahahaha! Manga is on top form as usual.
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Rank: I'm a girl so you all stop thinking i'm a guy
Joined: 11/7/2003
Posts: 3,983
Location: USA
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i'm laughing. you just can't hear me.
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